And just like that, 2019 is here!

A new year ALWAYS comes with talk of resolutions. Did you know new year resolutions rarely work?

U.S. News reports that 80% of people will abandon their resolutions by the second week of February… yikes!

And yet, all I hear this time of year is people talking about making those darn, ill-fated resolutions! It strikes the same chord in me as when I hear people talk about going on crash diets… they are both set-ups for failure, self-loathing, and despair… and yet, here we go again, right?

On the same token, I get it and I’ve been there. You’re looking at a new year and feeling like it’s the perfect time to start a new chapter and have a new beginning. I feel those same urges each new year. But, let’s be honest, the new year is no better a time for change than any other day in any other year. Every single day could be the start of a new year if that is the day you commit to working on a new goal.

The problem is that change is hard work. What the glitzy marketing companies don’t tell you is that change takes several tries and several recommitments before a goal is attained. Most people don’t realize this, so the frustration of falling off the wagon (even though it’s a normal part of the process) usually derails their goals before they got going.

Based on years of working on habit change in the eating disorder and mental health fields, I wanted to share a few thoughts on how you can make your 2019 goals more achievable:

• Set small, achievable, specific goals. If you are going to make a “resolution,” let’s at least talk about a better way. The resolutions I hear are often broad things like: “I’m going to eat healthy” or “I’m going to lower my stress” or “I’m going to spend more time with my family.” These all sound great, but what does that mean exactly? How do you define healthy eating? What do you have to add or subtract to be less stressed or more available to your family? How long will this take you? Without these kinds of details, we are destined to crash and burn. So my advice is to break the broad statements down to smaller goals that you can easily accomplish.
• Use time to your advantage. Make your goals time-limited so you have a checkpoint for your progress. I personally like to work in 1-month intervals, but you may feel 2- or 3- week intervals work better for you.
  **A great example of a small, achievable and time-limited goal would be: “3-4 days a week, for the month of January, I am going to take a 30 minute walk.” That is a totally doable goal. The bonus, once you have successfully achieved that goal, you’ll feel motivated to do it again next month!**
• Problem solve first. Another big hiccup people encounter is not planning for challenges. Continuing from the above example – what might get in the way of exercising for 30 min on 3-4 days during the week? Do you need to figure out childcare? Do you need to make it an appointment in your work calendar? Do you need to set your clothes out the night before? Think about things that could get in the way of meeting your goal and plan to address them BEFORE you get started. There will always be things that pop up that you didn’t expect, but putting a little time into brainstorming potential problems beforehand will be a huge boost to your ability to stay on track.
• Expect setbacks. The single most common place I see people get off track is not realizing they will screw up. You’ll do all the planning and preparing you can do and then one day you’ll wake up and feel tired. You’ll decide to rest instead of exercising (which is a totally great self-care decision, by the way!). You’ll think to yourself, “well, now I missed a day and blew it. I won’t get all my sessions in this week. So, I failed… again. I just can’t do this exercising thing.” And Bam! There goes your goal. Does any of that sound familiar? Here’s the deal, you will DEFINITELY have moments of setbacks and failures as you try to make changes. This is a totally normal part of the process! If we don’t fall down, how do we ever learn to stand back up? Instead of using these moments as reasons to quit, use these moments to analyze what went wrong. Figure out a plan to address the issue and then get back up and go again! A setback doesn’t mean it’s over, it means you are learning and improving!
• Do you really need to change? As with dieting, I believe this whole resolution thing is just a big scam to get us to buy more stuff. Need to feel healthier? Here’s a diet program. Want to feel prettier or more handsome? Here’s some beauty and grooming products. Want to be more successful? Here’s some coaching programs and self-help products. Drives me nuts. But brings me to a big question… is the change you’re seeking even necessary? Would this change really make you a happier and healthier person or are you seeking a change based on what the world tells you that you “should” be. Often changes we think we “should” make, rather than really WANT to make, never get accomplished. Evaluate your goals and make sure they feel good in your heart first. If not, do the work on letting them go.
• Instead of making a resolution, congratulate yourself instead. Rather than focusing on how to change yourself, how about spend that time looking back and identifying the things you did well, or accomplished, or are grateful for. Positive emotion can serve us much better than the punishing voice in our head that is taunting us with all the things that still need fixing. Research shows that believing in our own abilities to is one of the biggest predictors of whether we will be successful at making change. If we use the new year to identify all the challenges we have been able to overcome, we have done ourselves a huge favor towards achieving our next goal.

Finally, if you have goals for the new year, I think that is awesome and am rooting for you! Share them with me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter so we can cheer each other on!

I hope this finds you heading into a new year filled with hope for bigger and better life experiences. I appreciate all of you who take the time to read this blog and connect with me. Here’s to a 2019 that includes more peace, joy, grace, and prosperity for us all!

As always, stay Healthy as Heck, KG